suesuesudio.musemongersmotel
- Name: Dysfunctional Sue
- Location: CA US
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Dysfunctional Movie Reviews
Dysfunctional facts about Dysfunctional Sue
Washing: The laundry
Wishing: That the laundry would wash itself
I eat my young.
They taste like chicken.
I highly recomment it. Mmm...
How 'bout a poem recital by my Bugster (Sami)? She won the 9th grade class recital,
and this one was the school competition for Poetry Out Loud (dot com), done in the
College Student Lounge. As some of you know, she is attending College and High School at the same
time, where she'll earn her Diploma and AA in 4 years. Awesome program, affording me the opportunity
to also attend college.
When she was finished, we went home and I ate her for dinner. Only her clone and this video to remind
us of her life. And if you tell her that I'm writing all of this stuff, I'ma gonna eat your kid, too!�� Tee to the
hee!
Here she is shining ... (poem below video for you to follow along) ...
One Art
By Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;�
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
-Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster
Golly, I sure hope so! At least we know we're not raising a bunch of NUTZ!�
��
Dysfunctional Blog
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Sue's a College Girl
09/05/08 18:33:27 | 0 Dysfunctional Comments>>
This old lady just started college. Let's talk about this, shall we? I went into my Sociology class the other day where the teacher numbered us (up to 5), and everyone with the same number had to form a group and put their desks together into a circle. That's not too hard -- if you're between the ages of 17-25.
So, here we are in this circle and we're supposed to be brainstorming about the questions he gave us for homework. Who ended up being the group leader? All of these young eyes are expectantly looking to me to be their leader. I loaned my book to one of them, who hadn't gotten a book yet, and, I gave another the extra set of questions that I had. All of a sudden, I felt like a character in one of those Dr. Seuss... -
Happy, happy Mother's Day
05/13/08 10:01:49 | 0 Dysfunctional Comments>>
As I get older I think about my future,
whether I'll be successful or not.
I'll be gone in 4 years,
but no matter where I go or what I do,
I will always remember you.
When you tucked me in at night
and we said a prayer
where angels watched me through the night
and woke me with the morning light,
and after we said amen,
the boogie man would visit me again
and you let me sleep with you
your love and care scared him away
and no more nightmares every day.
You kept me safe while I was sick.
you brought me soup and gatorade mix.
Before I knew it, I was well again,
of course, from your love, again.
Although you may get made... -
For Anne Marie Roberts: The Grandfather of all Fart Stories
04/21/08 18:34:50 | 1 Dysfunctional Comments>>
Take Twenty-One "Mom's on the Loose, Again"
A California family visiting Minnesota. Mom had forgotten about the granola incident (compiled in a whole other Picture It, Expressly Take) and indulged in some prune juice with pulp and a bowl of oatmeal... -
Dysfunctional Sue: Picture It, Expressly, Take One
04/21/08 12:08:32 | 0 Dysfunctional Comments>>
"You're A Bad Mom!" Picture It: Has anyone ever listened to someone sleep when their mouth is closed and they're breathing through their partially clogged nose? Makes some real weird sounds! Yeah, as a matter of fact, sometimes, it sounds like their nose is actually saying something.Dysfunctional Thoughts
04/21/08 11:01:21 | 0 Dysfunctional Comments>>
Now, I don't know exactly how "funny" or "cute" this post will be, but I hope it comes out the way I intend.
I'm seriously thinking about opening up a comedy club here in town. We're about 100 (give or take) miles north of Los Angeles, small and still growing. Problem is, I don't know exactly how much a comedy club would be in demand. We're probably about 55 sq. miles with a few surrounding towns, Bakersfield being about 2 hours north.
I was thinking about having things like "Ladies Night", "Teen Night", "Redneck Night" and others. Since I love gangs so much, I'm thinking about having "Gang...Dysfunctional Sue: Picture It, Expressly: Take Twenty Nine
04/21/08 08:45:58 | 1 Dysfunctional Comments>>
"No Such Thing" Picture It:
Sue went to her brother's house yesterday, and was met by her nephew who insisted that she play video games with him. At the conclusion of getting the socks beat off of her by this 4 year-old little critter, they had a conversation that went like this:
Dare to Read More >>Dysfunctional Sue: Out of the Blue
04/19/08 13:49:20 | 2 Dysfunctional Comments>>
Cyndi Lauper is so keyute!
Dysfunctional Sue on Falling Asleep in Church
04/12/08 10:24:34 | 4 Dysfunctional Comments>>
When I was a child, my mama had stiletto elbows reserved special for church. You fall asleep? You get elbowed. Now that I'm a *ahem* mama, my little nose miners, (as Mrs. Doubtfire put it), elbow me. Of course, I snore, fart and drool in my sleep. Trust me, it's Not pretty. Not pretty at all
Dysfunctional Sue on Dogs
04/12/08 10:21:09 | 2 Dysfunctional Comments>>
One word: Butt Sniffers.
Okay, so I'm sitting in my living room with my door open, yelling at those butt sniffers to "SHUT UP OR I'M GONNA BEAT YOU!". Talkin' 'bout beatin' 'em in the morning, beatin' 'em at night, beatin' 'em while they're eating and sleeping. Okay, so I was bored and needed to entertain myself and my kids, as if I thought I was gonna impress them with all of my big bad butt beatin' ways.
Anyway, 8 year old comes in and says, "Mom? Some people just walked by here laughing at you"
Darn them butt sniffers!
Dysfunctional Sue on Santa Claus
04/12/08 09:47:56 | 4 Dysfunctional Comments>>
I know, this is a strange post for the month of April. Oh well, I'm confident that you'll get over it.
Okay, so sometimes I keep my brother "phone company" on his long drive to work. We always have some fascinating conversations that range anywhere between his son (my nephew) making statemtents like "Dada? You're the boss of mama, mama's the boss of me and I'm the boss of my sister", our dads personal problems, blonde jokes, assholes, (Whoopsies! Did I write "assholes" in a Santa Claus blog topic?), who are driving in the opposite direction than he (is) who are trying to pass a...
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